My Background
I started out with a normal childhood and normal family in Sioux City, Iowa. When I graduated from high school, the United States was at the height of the Vietnam War, and my chances of being drafted were well above average; so I enlisted in The United States Navy, instead of allowing myself to be drafted into the Army or Marines. I have no complaints about the time I spent in the Navy — I learned a lot about life, myself, and I grew up. It was while I was in the Navy that I came to terms with my true sexuality. I finally admitted to others, and more importantly myself, what I had known for years, but didn't want to face: that I was gay.
It was also while I was in the Navy, during the early 70s stationed in the San Francisco Bay area, that my interest in Leather and BDSM began to surface and expand. I found myself extremely attracted, for reasons unknown to me at the time, to the men that I would see on the streets dressed head to toe in Black Leather. One night, after a couple of beers, I followed a group of them to a bar called Febe's, which was a hardcore Leather bar and home of the CMC (California Motorcycle Club). Being stupid, shy, naive or whatever, and still not even admitting I was gay, I walked boldly up to the large Black Leather curtain, more than once, covering the doorway with all intentions of going in just to look at these Leathermen which excited me, only to find I had cold feet. Big brave sailor boy huh? So I walked around the block, more than once, smoking several cigarettes to get up the courage to go in. When I had finally worked up enough courage to go in, I found myself among what appeared to me to be the largest, roughest, meanest looking men in full Leather. I think I was just plain scared — my feet froze in place! Now keep in mind this was the early 70s so I was dressed in bell-bottom pants and a very colorful shirt — not exactly dressed to be in a Leather bar, especially a San Francisco Leather bar in the 70s.
While my heart was telling me to get the fuck out of this place, I was approached by Master David Stoner. He asked me something to the affect if I was in the right place — I'm sure I gave Him a very stupid answer. However, He put me at ease and bought me a beer. After talking with Him for the rest of the evening, He invited me home with Him and I agreed. Things were going very well up to this point, then He handcuffed me and took me to His little Datsun. I was sure they were going to find me face down and dead in some San Francisco gutter the next day. Of course that didn't happen. Instead Master David was very gentle with me that night and let me experience unbelievable sensations! I couldn't get enough, and so I entered the world of Leather and BDSM.
Master David was a wonderful man, with extreme patience and understanding, who carefully took the time to introduce me to, and allowed me to experience, my secret fantasies. How things came to pass I'm not sure, but we were together almost two years before the Navy transferred me. During the time we were together Master David undertook to properly train me to be His boy/slave and property along with training me to dominate another boy/slave (in the event He took on a #2 boy). Because of Him I came to fully understand my hidden interests and full potential within Leather and BDSM. I owe Him a great debt even to this day, which I will never be able to repay.
Anyway, in the days with Master David, I was totally fulfilled in the boy/slave/submissive role. I enjoyed being His personal slave and property — serving His desires and submitting to His sexual needs or whims without question. I thoroughly got off on being restrained (bondage) and what He did to my body — I became addicted to endorphins. I enjoyed it when He took me out in public on a leash and collar to be shown off to His peers. I enjoyed it when He had me perform sexual acts with His peers for His amusement. I enjoyed being naked in His presence and sitting at His feet. The list goes on. The only problem was I couldn't get enough and our time together was too short.
After Master David, there was a serious gap. I searched out Leathermen only to usually find other submissives like myself. It often seemed there were no available Masters and if they were there, they weren't interested in me. So most of my contacts, for a long time, were what I would call "vanilla" — basic suck and fuck. While I got off I missed the endorphins from heavy tit play, cock and ball torture or a good heavy flogging. However, to fulfill my needs I started to assume the role of Top/Master, which offered a lot more opportunities, for me, at that time within Leather and BDSM.
I found the role of the Master had just as much self-gratification as being a submissive — it was just the other-side of the coin. At first it wasn't as enjoyable as being the submissive for me, because I was apprehensive and uncomfortable with the role. However as I developed my skills it became just as erotic to be the Master as it was to be the boy/slave. I found I enjoyed giving just as much as I did receiving.
After I was discharged (Honorably) from the Navy I fell in love again. This was a unique relationship as my partner was what is referred to as a "switch" or "versatile". Otherwise we took turns assuming either the Top or bottom roles with each other. It was also during this relationship that I/we explored many arenas that I hadn't had the opportunity (lack of time) to explore with Master David. One area that I really got off on was my partner's quest for "risk". He loved being stripped naked and tied-up in a place, for hours, where there was the "risk" of being caught or discovered. An example of this: one night (actually, more than one night), when we were both working late at the theater, I stripped him and tied him to a fly on the stage, providing proper lighting of course. He remained erect for almost 4 hours before I released him — it was the "risk" of someone finding or seeing him there that excited him and ultimately gave him the erection and the endorphin rush. For me there was a strange erotic satisfaction/gratification in the thrill of knowing his predicament.
We were together almost 7 years, with no regrets. However, we were both very career-oriented, within theater and film, and our careers eventually took us apart. It was shortly after we broke up that I fell in love with a 19-year-old — yes, I checked his ID.
This was a much different relationship than anything previous. Now I was the full-time Master, in addition to being the teacher, just as Master David had been my teacher. As this relationship grew over time my partner developed excellent skills as a Master (I am actually very proud of the skills he developed and very impressed with what he can do to a submissive's body). So this relationship, which started out as Master and young slave, grew into two Masters living together, so finally after 7 years we parted ways remaining the best of friends.
A short time after we called it quits, I met a wonderful young man by the name of Jimmy. He was HIV+ with a tremendous amount of unfulfilled BDSM fantasies, which he couldn't fulfill due to his work, family and/or social standing prior to becoming HIV+. So I became his fantasy maker/fulfiller before he became too ill. It was during this relationship that my sadistic self developed. Jimmy loved pain and couldn't get enough. I could literally flog him until my arm felt like it was going to fall off, and he still wanted more! He liked to be taken to the edge with pain, that point where all you see is red then totally break down and cry uncontrollably. Of course, through our play, he developed an incredible tolerance for pain, which probably helped at the end.
After Jimmy had died I had a terrible void. He had pushed the envelope. I had done things to him, at his request, which I never thought was within me to do to anyone — he had taken me to a new plateau as a Master. Thus it was hard, after Jimmy, to find playmates that wanted to play the way I now enjoyed playing.
However I did meet up with a guy who turned out to be a pathetic mistake. Needless to say, that relationship — if there really was a relationship — came to an end in less than six months.
On the night of 3 November 1994, I met Chris, and my life made another major change. I was down at the Seattle Eagle having a few beers and talking with some friends when I caught this thin, very cute, long-hair kid cruising me, so I cruised back. He finally came over to me, started up an intelligent conversation and we talked for several hours. At closing time I invited him home with me, with full intentions of fucking his brains out and sending him on his merry way — breakfast not included. However things don't always workout the way you plan. Once we were at my place, Chris was totally mesmerized by my collection of Leather toys (blindfolds, gags, hoods, restraints, paddles, whips, etc.) hanging on my bedroom wall. He was like a kid in a candy store! He wanted (begged) me to use some of the devices on him, so I graciously did, and not gently either. By the time the sun came up the next morning, I think he had tried most everything, along with having some nice bruises, and he still wanted more. After we had slept we talked some more and his interest in Leather and BDSM seemed very sincere, so I laid down some very strict rules and he fully accepted them.
Chris brought me full circle back to my roots and what Master David and His peers taught me. He was a living example that there are still many potential boys/slaves out there with deeply imbedded fantasies of Leather and BDSM desperately seeking fulfillment.
My sexual interests have changed greatly over the years, as you will note from the above, and I find it impossible to give a simple answer about them. In my early days, before I admitted I was gay, I was satisfied having a beer and sucking a nice cock or two, or three. Of course the next day I had been so drunk (on one beer) that I couldn't remember the events of the night before. Hey, it was my lie and it worked well for me, especially when I was in the Navy. So today when someone asks me, either in a bar or on the Internet, what I am into (implying sexually), you can see how the answer is not an easy one to give. There is no short list. I am still very much into Leather and BDSM today, some 20+ years later.
Which now brings me to the reason for this website — because I want to give something back, even if it's only in the form of a written word. If something on this site enlightens you or challenges you, then I have done something besides sit on my fat ass. Enjoy!